Too Much Learning

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time reading blogs. Most of the subject matter can be described as some kind of philosophy, or at least highly thought out commentary on the world at large. It’s a waste, because for all of the distinctions I’m learning to make, and for all that I’m learning about the various traditions of the world, I’m not actually doing anything with that knowledge.

And what I’m reading is kind of unpleasant to read. It mostly has to do with how they tend to use the sociologist’s definition of ‘identity’ – a conflation of a person’s attributes and the communities they move in – and it’s like I’m being stabbed in the eyes every time it shows up.

I need to talk to people that are as curious as I am. People that are willing to listen to me ramble about whatever it is that I’ve been reading about lately and are willing to do the same to me. Preferably, they’d be local, and I’d be able to talk to them in person. But in the end, I don’t really know where to look.


Poetry: Approach Me as You would a Stranger

Approach me as you would a stranger
You can’t know me when I don’t know myself
I know my loneliness can’t last forever
But I fear, I am already beyond all help

Even as I fail to forge new bonds
I burn the bridges I already have

Approach me as you would a stranger
Even though I don’t feel very well
I know that the life I lead puts me in danger
But I fear, I am already beyond all help

Poetry: Trailblazer

I walk through my house apart
Empty wall carry echoes throughout
Lonely, yet not wanting to belong

I forge a path all my own
No other walks at my side
It’s a burden I like to bear

I see why other join and congregate
I can’t relate, but others are free
To do as they will, as I let go

This world is not just for me
I’ll leave space of other unlike
Even if I wonder about their life

And if I were to take a companion
I would like a trailblazer like me
Their thoughts free, their self their own

But the road not walked outnumber those that are
And if they wanted to forge their own path, why take mine?
There’s no cure for loneliness, when you don’t want to belong.